3 September

Today was a day at sea. We lost an hour last night and promptly made it up by sleeping in this morning!

After breakfast, we soaked up the Mediterranean sun on the pool deck. It was pretty windy, but it offset the hot sun nicely and allowed us to stay out longer. It's very fascinating to lay there on your lounge chair and discreetly watch people from behind your sunglasses. There are all kinds of people on this ship, from families with young children to retired couples, from conservative and quiet to loud and brash, from fit and attractive to not so fit and not so attractive! It is truly eye-opening to see how self-conscious we are as Americans, when the rest of the world is completely at ease with who they are and how they look. I suppose my reaction is a product of the culture we live in and I honestly react without thinking twice.

Then, the moment we'd been looking forward to for three days arrived! Time for our couples massage! We each got a nice, hour-long Swedish massage. It always amazes me when I see such a petite person and then feel the strength and control they wield. She started with my back and neck, moved to my calves, rolled me over and finished with my arms, hands, legs, and feet. I wasn't able to see Jeremy, so I assume he got a similar treatment, but I did hear his therapist ask if he'd like her to walk on his back! Yikes! And he said yes! Afterwards, he said it was good, but a little unexpected and painful when she used her toes to dig into his back muscles. Honestly, I'm not sure how she had room to stand on his back without hitting her head on the ceiling...but she was petite! They didn't want us to run back to our cabin and take showers right away as they'd used an aromatherapy, so we had a late lunch. Just as we finished up lunch, they were changing out the buffet from lunch to afternoon snack and we discovered tortilla chips and melted nacho cheese, like you get at any sporting event at home. So we stuck around for a light snack, then headed back to wash off the oils, and fell into bed for an afternoon nap!

Tonight, the Captain hosted a Welcome Aboard reception and it was the first Formal evening of the cruise. We were able to meet Captain Oerjan (pronounced Or-ee-on) and have a photo taken with him. We enjoyed a glass of wine as they introduced all the officers on board the ship and Captain Oerjan gave a brief speech, including his experience in the cruise industry, working his way up from a deck hand, statistics about our ship, crew, and guests aboard, and the future of Royal Caribbean. The crew represented nearly 70 countries! He rattled off how many guests were representing each country, and people cheered as their countries were named. Half of all guest on board are from the U.S. and the U.K., with roughly 450 from each country. The remainder of the guests represented about 40 other countries, with even Switzerland and Ecuador represented! Probably the most notable part of his speech was about a new ship that is being built for voyages beginning in 2009. Compared to our ship, which is 70,000 tons and carries 1,900, this ship is to be 260,000 tons with a capacity for 6,000! Captain Oerjan said that Royal Caribbean is already working with ports of call that will be able to accommodate this monstrous ship to develop itineraries. It was quite interesting!

With Captain Oerjan Raadmannsoey from Norway

At dinner, it was thrilling to see John, Jim and Philip all dressed in tuxes, and the ladies were utterly beautiful in their evening dresses, dripping with jewels. We felt a little under dressed, but I think we looked quite dashing ourselves! Particularly since we're used to wearing and seeing each other in jeans and t-shirts most of the time! The ship's photographer was of course very visible all evening, shoving his camera in everyone's faces and posing us. I was really pleased with the shot he got of us tonight, especially after our weak attempts at a self-portrait!

The professional shot


Our self-portrait



The evening entertainment was the first performance by the Royal Caribbean singers and dancers. They performed numbers to music from movies like Blues Brothers, Dirty Dancing, Saturday Night Fever, and Footloose. Compared to the shows we saw on our Alaskan and Caribbean cruises, the singers and dancers were pretty exceptional. It's unfortunate that they only perform a few times during the week and not every night. We headed for bed right away tonight, as we have a big day ahead of us in Turkey tomorrow!

2 September

Today we woke up off the coast of Dubrovnik, Croatia. They organized all the excursion groups in the theater before we were allowed to debark. At first, we thought it was a little unnecessary, but we quickly found that it was pretty smart and efficient. We had to board a tender to get ashore, so they wanted each group to be together on the tender, through the crowded streets of old town, and all the way to the bus. We just missed the tender in front of us, but watched as a family got separated from their elderly mother in her wheelchair. As the tender started to pull away, the daughter was frantically trying to get some one's attention that her mom was still on the ship in her wheelchair, but it was no use. They put her on our tender and she was visibly annoyed that the staff forgot about her. When we arrived at the dock, her family was all there waiting and cheering when they saw her and saw that she was in one piece. They were even taking pictures of her on the tender all by herself!

Once off the tender, we quickly found our tour guide and tried to keep up with her all the way through old town to the bus. As I mentioned earlier, it was very crowded, and the architecture had me mesmerized -- I was trying to take pictures while walking, trying not to fall and break my ankle in the stone gutters! There was a giant stone wall around all of old town that was quite impressive as we approached in the tender, and gave you a secure feeling being in the protected village.I finally gave up on taking pictures, knowing we'd have to walk back through old town to get to the tender.

The walls around old town Dubrovnik

The bus stop was clogged with buses, nose to tail, all of them. But rather quickly, they were all filled and on their way to their tour destination. Our tour guide was great. I wish I could remember her name, hut honestly wouldn't even know how to begin spelling it! She was beautiful -- young with long dark hair, dark olive skin, stick thin, wearing a light blue polo representing her tour company, a pale yellow long cotton skirt, and aviator sunglasses. She spoke English rather well, even with her heavy accent, though her grammar wasn't perfect and at times was a bit humorous. Much of our tour included information about their recent war of independence from Yugoslavia and Serb rebels, how difficult it was to live through, how long it's taken them to rebuild, and how they still live with a little bit of that fear everyday. It was really very touching how much personal emotion she injected into her history lesson. Honestly, she didn't look much older than us, so she must've been quite young during the war.

Our first tour stop was the arboretum in Trsteno (pronounced Tris-ten-yo). At the entrance to the arboretum is a giant, I mean GIANT, Oriental Plane tree. There had been two, but if I remember correctly, she mentioned that the second one had to be taken down. The arboretum was started by a noble family in the 15th century who asked ship captains to bring back exotic plants and seeds from their travels. I was quite a hike downhill to reach the arboretum, and several of our tour group stayed behind because they had difficulty walking as it was.

The giant Oriental Plane tree

Once we reached the gate, it was apparent how big the arboretum really was -- it was like stepping into a rain forest. There were so many large trees towering overhead, their canopies converging and almost blocking out the sky. It was really very beautiful, quiet and peaceful. Each species of tree and plant had a small sign giving its Latin name and its common name in several languages. There was also an interesting aqueduct (or ditch) dug around clusters or sections of trees in order to provide irrigation. The water seemed to be provided via fire hoses attached to fire hydrants sprinkled around the park. It was mostly green, but every once in a while, you'd see a flowering species that offered a splash of color and whimsy to the lush landscape. There was a fountain nestled in to the trees along the walking path with a statue of Neptune, and several little buildings scattered throughout the garden, a small chapel with green doors, a villa housing the only restrooms in the park, a pavilion providing outstanding views of the coastline, and an old mill containing antique olive oil presses. It was an even tougher hike back up the hill to our bus, and I was relieved to finally reach the top!
The fountain of Neptune



Back on the road, near Ston (pronounced Stone), we drove past massive salt pans that allow Croatia to harvest and produce salt. At one point, salt was a precious export for Croatia and therefore needed to be protected, so again, they built these fortified stone walls to keep others from stealing the salt.

Salt fields

Our second stop was a rustic little winery owned by the Miloš (pronounced Mee-losh) family. We got a brief lesson on how the grapes are harvested and the different lengths of time that the grapes are allowed to dry before being pressed into wine. Then we sat in the lovely little tasting room, and Mr. and Mrs. Miloš served us a full glass of white wine, followed by crackers, a full glass of red wine, and some fresh slices of parmesan cheese. Again, I couldn't tell you the name of the wines, let alone spell them, but the red wine was out of this world. It smelled and tasted like no other wine I've tasted before. The aroma was beautiful, smelling of, what I thought was a flower but learned later, was tobacco -- no, not smoking tobacco, but perhaps the tobacco leaf or plant itself. It was really wonderful and words can not do it justice. We bought two bottles, the red we tried, and a red that Mr. Miloš described as even better. It is a shame that Croatian wine is not well-known or widely available, for if Miloš is any indication of what the other wineries can produce, I never need to drink another wine from California, Italy, or France. I'm still pretty partial to Australian wine though, so I'll be careful to leave it off my chopping block!

Mr. and Mrs. Miloš

After the wine tasting, the tour took us back to Ston so that we could explore the little village on our own. Many of our tour group hiked up to the fortified walls, but it was warm and we hadn't had much to eat, so we decided we could admire the walls from where we were. Ston is a sleepy little village, only a few cafes, and only a few more houses. We walked up and down several of the little alleys, with only a hint of life every now and again as we heard voices coming from behind closed shutters, or the woman we saw spraying off the walk with a hose. It was really very charming.

Fortified walls around Ston

A Ston alley

Soon, we were back on the bus headed to Mali Ston (pronounced Mah-lee Stone), or "Little" Ston for lunch. Mali Ston is right on the channel where they trap fresh oysters. Our lunch was at a small cafe, under the canopy on the patio. We were served fresh bread, and two oyster dishes, one with rice closely resembling paella, the other a spaghetti pasta with a very thin marinara sauce, with white wine and bottled water. The rice and pasta were good, but I left the oyster consumption to Jeremy and others at the table!

The channel at Mali Ston

After lunch, the bus took us back to Dubrovnik and dropped us off right were we got on earlier in the morning. We started to make our way back through old town, this time pausing longer to get pictures, and this time I did fall and nearly broke my ankle! I landed hard on my right knee and twisted my left ankle, but boy did I do a great job of protecting the camera! That kind of ruined the mood for any shopping I had in mind, so we headed for the tender back to the ship. The old town was much quieter and more calm than it had been that morning, so we strolled (I gingerly limped...) to the dock and boarded the tender. Lo and behold, who did we run into on the tender? John and Lisa! They hadn't gone on a tour, but rather explored Dubrovnik on their own. My ankle hurt, so I wasn't in a mood to chit chat either, but the noise of the engine quickly droned out any chance for conversation anyway.

See the concave stone gutter on the left? This is where I almost broke my ankle this morning. I fell not far from here this afternoon, though it wasn't because of the gutter!

Back on the ship, we got a couple of frozen yogurt cones (which I promptly dripped down the front of my shirt...add insult to injury, I guess), and strolled around the pool deck. We paused at the bow of the ship and watched the crew ready the vessel for departure. It was quite fascinating how much labor and time goes into raising the anchors. The links of the chain on the anchors were huge, and the chains seems to go on forever...it literally took almost an hour for the entire process. There was one deckhand that stood and sprayed fresh water on every link that came out of the sea, washing off the salt and rust as it was stored away for its next use. When we thought there couldn't possibly be any more chain to reel up...okay, we got a little bored...we turned to head back to our cabin. We got not ten feet away when the ship's horn was sounded. We both jumped and I think one of us probably wet our pants!

Tonight's entertainment was a chap from the U.K. with mad voice, piano, fiddle, and guitar skills. He even performed "Devil Went Down to Georgia" much to Jeremy's delight, though he made it a bit more PG-13 for the crowd. Honestly though, we were probably the only two in the audience that appreciated it. I imagine he's used to performing in front of a larger American crowd, and the theater wasn't full -- those that were there seemed to be of a European descent and I just don't think The Charlie Daniels Band is all that popular this side of the pond!

Dinner was much more comfortable this evening. We're all starting to get to know one another and come out of our shells. Maxine mentioned that she drives a Mini Cooper convertible...of course she does, don't all Brits? Jim's not as sullen as once thought, and I'm pretty sure someone dropped the word "daft" in our conversation tonight! I'm falling in love with our new friends -- I may not just be dreaming in an accent, I might actually be speaking with one by the end of the week!

31 August - 1 September

Our gate in Philly before they announced the delay -- notice the "On Time" remark in the lower right corner!

It was a relatively smooth and easy trip. The only hiccup we had was a broken plane in Philly. They had to replace a coupler on the 2nd high-frequency radar in order to have communications in Europe. Fortunately, the part was in Philadelphia and we were off the ground only 90 minutes late. In comparison to the length of the flight, it really wasn't that bad. We arrived in Venice only 45 minutes late, so the tailwinds were good and we made up half the delay in the air. Customs was a piece of cake and ALL three of our suitcases arrived intact, within seconds of each other! Yay! That was one of my main concerns since I've never travelled to Europe before.

It turned out that a large contingent from our plane were booked on our cruise and we filled up a bus in no time and were on our way to the ship. Again, we had no issues checking in for the cruise and they allowed us to embark at 10:30 even though embarkation wasn't scheduled to begin until 2:00. Staterooms weren't to be ready until 1:00, so we sat and enjoyed the warm weather at a table on the pool deck. As more people boarded the ship, we were quickly reminded that we were in in Europe -- two groups sat on either side of us and lit up cigarettes and smoked us out of our nice little spot. It was then we realized that the starboard side was smoking and the port side was non-smoking! As if the crew knew we needed rescuing, the Windjammer Cafe opened for lunch.

Being a Mediterranean cruise, there was a whole section of the buffet dedicated to the region with a spread of pita bread, hummus, kalamata olives, tzatziki sauce, roasted tomatoes, and some seafood. I was in Heaven!

After a bite to eat, we quickly headed to the spa to book our massage appointment before they were booked solid. We headed back to the pool deck, making sure to sit on the non-smoking side and chilled until the cabins were ready. We met a rowdy bunch of retirees from Boston while we waited.

At 1:00, we headed for our room for a much needed nap! Our bags hadn't arrived yet, so we flipped on the TV to wait, but just as soon as we got comfortable, a knock on the door signaled that our bags had arrived. Without the energy to unpack, we crawled under the covers to catch a short nap -- which turned into a long three-hour nap! We hadn't intended to sleep so long, but we must've needed it. We were woken by the announcement that the muster drill was in 30 minutes. We'd wanted to take showers and change clothes first, but didn't get much chance!
The muster drill -- so you know how to wear your lifevest and where to gather in case of emergency

Almost as soon as the muster drill was over, the engines fired up and we pulled out of port in Venice. Our stateroom attendant gave us a hint which side of the ship to be on to get the best view and he didn't disappoint! We ordered a bucket of beer and lounged at the railing watching Venice slip by. It appeared to come straight out of a photograph -- hundreds of brick and stone structures rising up, topped with red-tile roofs glowing from the afternoon sun. St. Mark's Square looked absolutely beautiful and I can't wait to return to Venice to explore it ourselves!







St. Marks Square, including the bell tower and church

We finally got a moment to shower and change, just in time for the evening entertainment. They previewed the Royal Caribbean singers and dancers, who would performing later in the week and then two small acts. The first, Fluorescence, a cute black light puppet-type show with fluorescent pink and yellow boas and birds with long legs. The second, a married couple, Mysteriaque (pronounced Miss-teer-ee-ack), who performed aerial lifts and magical illusions under some corny-themed pretenses (a cat burglar and Zorro).


Second seating is later on this ship, 9:00 instead of 8:30, like we've had in the past. Our table mates are all from the U.K. Philip and Natalie, a just-married couple on their honeymoon, and two couples celebrating their 25-year anniversaries, Jim and Maxine, and John and Lisa. Jim and Maxine seem very typically British to me. Besides the accent, I don't know if I can think of the appropriate words to describe them at the moment. Jim is very quiet and almost glum most of the time. Maxine is a big bigger, louder, and chattier. John and Lisa seem very fun. They are quite stylish -- from their clothes and hairstyles to Lisa's glasses -- and appear to be hip and much younger than they probably are. It's hard to imagine both couples being about the same age and the same point in their lives with older children! Natalie is very sweet and shy and Philip strangely reminds me of Prince William. They look nothing alike, but Philip is very bright and proper, even a bit authoritative -- it's clear who's in charge in their relationship. Dinner felt like we were stuck in an episode of Frasier, listening to Maxine and Lisa talk is like having Daphne on both ends of the table! Everything is "lovely" or "brilliant"! I'm pretty sure I'll be dreaming in a British accent the rest of the week!

√ Check!

The laundry is done.

The house is clean.

The bags are packed.

And I just checked-in online for our flight tomorrow.

I can't believe it's here, it's really here! Tomorrow we leave for our Mediterranean adventure and I couldn't be any more ready and/or excited. I have some things to wrap up at work, take Reese to the in-laws tonight, put the bags in the car, shave my legs, paint my toes, then sleep for a few hours.

We'll see how much sleep I get...even though I'm positive everything we need is packed (my checklist is all checked off), I'm sure my mind will be racing all night. "Did I pack underwear?" "Do I have the passports?" "Did I set the lamp timers?" "Did I hold the mail?" "What if my alarm doesn't go off?" "What if our flight is delayed and we miss our connection to Italy?" "What if we get stuck in customs and miss the ship?" "What if we get kidnapped in Turkey and they decapitate us?" (I know, a little morbid and quite irrational, but hey this is my brain we're talking about)

I think we shall open a bottle of wine tonight to celebrate and encourage some zzz's!

Give it a rest already

So Monday was actually the day for bitterness. I didn't realize it until I woke up yesterday morning; yesterday was the day for depression. My phone rang at 7:51 a.m. and I couldn't fall back asleep, so I still didn't get to sleep in.

I laid on the couch and watched Because I Said So with Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore. It was cute, but it made me cry too. I was on the verge of tears all day yesterday, but I mostly felt just "there", if that makes any sense. I wasn't sad, or angry, or tired, or anything. I kinda felt numb in a weird sense of the word.

I decided that I should go shopping at Kohl's to try to feel better, or just feel something. I jumped in the shower and spent a long time just getting ready. Why, I don't know, but I wanted to spend the extra time curling my hair. It's been a long time since I primped in front of the mirror, and so I just did it.

I stopped by Good Times to eat lunch first. I parked and went in to order instead of going through the drive-thru. I got my food and sat outside at a table by myself. There was a couple of guys sitting near me, probably on their lunch break from work, they were in shirts and ties. Then there was a grandma and a young girl and even younger boy sitting outside too. I sat and watched them through the mask of my sunglasses. The little boy couldn't sit still. He wasn't sitting at the table with them, instead he sat on a bench right next to it. The girl and grandma sat exchanging secrets back & forth. Every once in a while I could hear the girl complaining about the songs they were playing on the outdoor speaker system. I'm pretty sure it was John Lennon's "Instant Karma" where he sings "we all shine on". She said it was the worst song ever made. I actually chuckled to myself; I can't disagree with her. I'm not a big Lennon or Beatles fan.

Then I went shopping. Really, all I needed was an extra pair of sunglasses. I tried a lot of things on. Thankfully, I wasn't in a mood, well any kind of mood at all, so most things didn't look overly appealing on me. Even if it was just a so-so, I put it back. While I was trying on at least 15 items, I overheard the dressing room attendant giving a woman a hard time about only bringing 5 items into the dressing room. It was literally a 2-3 minute lashing. The woman kept saying that everything else in her arms was for her children, and the attendant wouldn't have any of it. The woman actually counted her items out loud to the attendant, and she still had to leave the kid's clothes outside the dressing room. Then the attendant had the gall to pre-scold her about not leaving anything in the dressing room when she was done. Thank God that lady wasn't there when I walked in. I probably would have unleashed on her. I was about ready to walk out and start defending the other shopper! Seriously, it was the middle of the afternoon on a weekday and there were several other dressing rooms open. I could understand if it had been a Saturday morning, during a giant sale, and they had 20 women lined up waiting for a dressing room. Anyway, I got a couple pairs of sunglasses, a sun hat, a pair of pants, several tops, and several pairs of new undies. I had a coupon for an extra 15% off, and the cashier gave it back to me since it doesn't expire until Saturday. That was nice of her.

When I got home, there was another movie, Prime, in the mail from Blockbuster. We had started watching it on Sunday night, but it was scratched so we only got halfway through it. I returned the scratched one and we got the new one yesterday. Jeremy hadn't been crazy about the first half, so I watched the second half by myself. It was pretty bad. In fact, the last half was worse than the first half was. Don't bother.

I watched t.v. for a while, just snuggling with Reese. She was a cuddle bug all day yesterday. I got my SJ CIAB with the mail yesterday and some stuff I had ordered from Target online arrived yesterday too. I wasn't even excited about opening those packages.

Then I got ready to meet Jeremy down by his office for dinner. He made reservations at The Melting Pot last night, which is my all-time favorite restaurant. We don't eat there but once a year because it's so pricey. My car was short on gas, but I had been planning all day to wait to fill up until I got close to Jeremy's office since he'd told me about this place that was only $2.85/gal (compared to $2.95+ everywhere else in town). I finally get down there, have to go around the block because I missed the turn the first time, pull up next to the pump and realize I didn't bring ANY money with me. No cash, no checks, no cards. I had switched purses and only put the essentials (lipstick, camera, phone, and I.D.) in the new one. I had to have been on fumes, and I get really uncomfortable when I get down to empty. My car tells me how many miles I have left before I need to fill up, and when it gets down to about 42 miles, it starts flashing. It wasn't even registering a number anymore, just flashing dashed lines. I at least made it to Jeremy's office.

Sometimes it still amazes me how perfect Jeremy is for me. He took me, a depressed person with no phyical emotion, and softened me into my old self. He bought me flowers and a sweet card. We had a great time at dinner and laughed a lot. The food was amazing, but even better, my company was amazing.

So, if you hadn't figured it out already, I did call in sick to work yesterday. That sent my mom over the edge because she had called to make sure I wasn't taking yesterday off so that she could send me flowers at work. They'r e the flowers that show up in the box and you have to assemble them in the vase yourself, so she was panicked that the flowers would sit there in the box all day and die, but she didn't want to tell me because it was supposed to be a surprise.

And apparently the office went all out yesterday getting doughnuts for my birthday, putting balloons in my office. Okay, this NEVER happens, so why am I made to feel bad today about not coming in yesterday to soak up all the attention. Seriously, we don't do anything for anyone's birthday. I even got an email today from a gal on an Albuquerque project wishing me happy birthday, and she knew that I was out sick yesterday and disappointed the office. People are stopping by my office to wish me a belated birthday, and then they're put off when I don't respond with a giddy smile and thank you.

So here's the thing, I LOVE my birthday. Besides Christmas, it is my favorite day of the year. I have always gotten into the spirit of my birthday, thrown myself parties, and made a big deal out of it myself because as I got older, no one else did. There were a couple of years, when my mom was flying, that she didn't even call me on my birthday. So why is it now, the one birthday I'd rather not acknowledge, that could just pass as another day, that everyone in the world is making into such a big deal? Truly, I don't get it. And it makes me all the more frustrated and angry.

So today is another day for depression. I really honestly can't explain why I feel this way. I just do, and I can't help it.

To top it off, I found out today that my old boss died yesterday. He was such a role model, and is the reason I pursued my degree in construction management and got to where I am today. He will be deeply missed. The funeral is on Friday, and I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Obituary

Happy bleeping birthday to me

“It's my birthday. I'm officially old." - Sex in the City

It is birthday eve, and I shall finally be 30 years old tomorrow. I seem to be full of mixed emotions about it. It's depressing to say the least, which isn't positively contributing to my mood for this Monday.

My parents called at the last second yesterday and asked if we wanted to go out for lunch for my birthday. We went and it was good until the conversation turned to my sister. It always has to be about her. Whether it's good or bad, Wendi is always the topic of conversation. Normally, it wouldn't faze me, but it's my birthday. They asked ME to lunch for MY birthday, and all we could muster up for conversation was about how SHE makes bad choices and how tough HER life is going to be. Okay, I get it. And now I'm over it. Could we not just get through one lunch without bringing it up? Ugh.

So, I hate Mondays as it is. Today was just as difficult to get out of bed for as any other Monday is. Not to mention that it's been raining like crazy every day since Thursday. So now it's hot AND muggy AND a Monday AND the day before my 30th birthday. Oddly, several people at work started wishing me a happy birthday today. I say odd, because I haven't mentioned to anyone that I have a birthday this week. I discovered that our receptionist sent a mass email to the office that my birthday, no not just my birthday, my 30th birthday is tomorrow. Awesome. I was planning to call in sick tomorrow. How's that for ruining my plans to make the day somewhat tolerable? Okay, I get it. Her intentions were pure. Could I not just have the joy of sleeping in on my most dreaded birthday ever? Ugh.

Now, as the afternoon slips by me, I must start prepping myself to eat a meal with my in-laws. My FIL has diabetes, my MIL has allergies, and now my SIL has discovered that she has major food allergies too. This makes it difficult to eat, well, basically anywhere that serves food. FIL can't have anything with sugar, MIL can't have anything with cheese or wheat, and SIL is allergic to just about everything under the sun. What an enjoyable process it is to sit and help them figure out what menu item is the least lethal to their health. I'm sure my MIL will forget her glasses too, so then one of us will have to read the entire menu to her anyway. Okay, I get it. They can't help that they can't eat certain stuff. Could we not just get away with a nice birthday card in the mail, or a quick birthday wish over the phone? Ugh.

See what I mean about depressing? It's sucked the life right out of me. It's making me lash out in bitterness.

I mentioned mixed emotions. Today is all about the depression. I'm hopeful too, but that's a post for another day. Come back later to catch me on the upswing.

Freaky Dreams

This is going to be a weird post, so consider yourself warned!

Okay, I've had some weird dreams in my life, but never have I had a dream that was so real that it carried over into my life. Rarely do I dream about the details, or remember them, which is why this one upset me so much.

Last night I dreamed that a man came to our office building and started shooting people for the hell of it.

The dream opens, and I'm sitting in the conference room in a meeting. It was definitely our office building, though the layout of our office suite was different than it really is. But I specifically remember the people who were there...for example, our receptionist Jan was there at the front desk, but her hair was different. I remember what the spreadsheet looked like that we were going over. We had clients in the office going through some contracts with us, and our HR guy warned us of the shooter by printing out a memo and handing it out casually, like he shouldn't interrupt important business going on.

The shooter was on the 5th floor (I know, like why would I remember that?). I started to run, but I remember going back to my desk to get my purse so that I'd have my car keys. I could hear the elevator ding signaling its arrival on a floor below us, and heard yelling and gunshots.

I remember climbing out a window with a few other women in the office (even though we're on the 12th floor and our windows don't open), but anyway, we crawled out a window and down a brick wall that sloped down to the street. It was dark outside, even though it was mid-morning. Once we got to the sidewalk, you could hear this guy yelling from inside the building, and I turned and looked up at the building and could see the spark of the gunshots through the window because the lights were off in the building. We started running.

There were people laying face down in the grass and hiding all over the place right outside the building. I kept thinking, why are they still here, why don't they keep running? It's like it was a car accident, and everyone has to slow down to see what's going on. Everyone was glued to watching it unfold.

Then almost instantaneously, he was outside shooting those same people, and since we kept running, he came after us because he could hear Judy's heels hitting the sidewalk (remember, it's dark so he couldn't really see us). I kept trying to tell her to run quietly so he couldn't hear us, but she wouldn't listen so he kept following.

We got to my car and I was desperately trying to unlock it, but he was right behind us...then I woke up.

I laid awake for a long time, too scared to fall back asleep because I could still see him in my mind. He was ethnic, though I can't say if he was Asian, or Hispanic, or Middle Eastern, though he did not have an accent, but he was wearing a black ball cap and a yellow shirt and jeans.

After I started to drift off, I was back in the office again, frantically looking for a place to hide (it's like one of those books where you get to choose the ending...I got to choose a different reaction). I first thought that I need to turn the light off in my office so he thinks I'm not there to look for. Then I grab my purse for the same reason, and then debate which is the better hiding spot...the file room that has a lockable door and lots of boxes full of paper to hide behind, or underneath my desk. Then I woke up again.

I laid there a little longer, then drifted off again. This time I was back at my car, but not with my co-workers, rather girls I grew up with and haven't spoken to in years. The shooter hadn't come outside yet though. We were hiding behind my car because I was afraid that trying to drive away would just attract his attention. But Lindsey wasn't keeping quiet or hiding. She was sitting straight up trying to have a conversation with us, and he found us that way. I woke up again for the last time and stayed awake all night with scenarios running through my head.

I finally fell asleep at a little after 5:00, and DH's alarm went off at 5:30. I was so scared that it was a premonition, that I had a hard time coming in to work today. How do you call in for that? "Sorry, I can't come to work today because I'm pretty sure some dude is gonna shoot up the place, but y'all have a great day! Hope you survive and I see ya tomorrow!"

I had to call DH and ask him what I should do. Of course, he's my voice of reason and always has to remind me that God is in control. If it's my time to go, then it's my time to go, but I just have to trust Him to protect me. But it was very weird walking into the office this morning with my dream playing out in my head. Even more strange that as I sit here and type I can look across the hall and see that file room with the door standing wide open.

So far, so good, though. No maniacal killers on the loose as of yet.

See, I told you it was freaky.

Welcome to Wyoming!

It was great...not as good as the HAND concert, but great nonetheless. We arrived at about 6:45 and had to walk all the way around Frontier Park to the gate where "standing room only" was. There were already masses of people there, so we were off to the left of the stage and no where near the front. Not to mention is was all dirt and there were tons of people taller than me in front of me.

We got free glow in the dark bracelets to wear, and they were selling beer in the tall cans, WooHoo! The opening band was Oxygen from Omaha, NE, and they were actually pretty decent.

DH was pissed most of the time because not only did we have to stand the entire time, but we must've had signs on our foreheads that said "go ahead, squeeze by me to find your friends". We had a steady stream of people squeezing through right in front of us, or right behind us the ENTIRE concert. Honestly, after it got dark, I don't know how anyone found their group again. And really, why do people think that they MUST go get more beer right in the middle of a concert?

Then the chicks in front of us spent the whole concert text messaging and taking pictures, reviewing them, deleting them and taking more. That totally grated on his nerves. So since he was being poopy, I didn't have as much fun as I could have.

Saw some chicks go at each other because the one bumped into her while squeezing past. It's incredible how oblivious some people are, or intentionally rude they can be. Next time, I'll do whatever I have to to get seats.

I was surprised about the set list...they didn't play nearly as many songs from Lost Highway as I thought they would, which was actually cool, they played some great old stuff that everyone knew. I was shocked they didn't play You Wanna Make A Memory! I was really hoping Big & Rich would be there for We Got It Goin' On, but no such luck. They don't play until this Friday night with Cowboy Troy and Gretchen Wilson.

Cheyenne, WY Setlist - 7.20.07
You Give Love A Bad Name

Lost Highway

Whole Lot Of Leavin’ Going On

Born To Be My Baby

It’s My Life

Radio Saved My Life

Runaway

I Love This Town

We Got It Going On

Who Says You Can’t Go Home

Sleep When I’m Dead

Bad Medicine

Encore:

Wanted Dead Or Alive

Livin’ On A Prayer

Their set felt really short...they were on from 9:00 to 10:30. I'm guessing there's some noise ordinance and they had to be done by a certain time because there are literally thousands of houses that surround Frontier Park. It's like right in the middle of all these residential neighborhoods - bordered on 3 sides by houses, then by the Interstate on the west.

My pics didn't come out very good. I had so many people in front of me that were tall, or everyone had their arms up, that I couldn't get many clear shots. Plus, I put the ISO on 1600 and forgot to change my autofocus for moving objects, so lots of them are blurry. I tried to get some shots from the big screen on the side, but they kinda sucked too.

The rodeo was fun! Our seats were two rows up from the arena, just to the right of where the bull riders and bronc riders came out. We were in full sun the entire time, but they have misters installed over top of that entire section of seats. The calf roping and steer wrestling was at the far end from us, but we still got to see most of it. The announcers were hilarious and were dressed as clowns out in the middle of the arena all day. Bought my first cowgirl hat (after the rodeo so the top of my head is a little red), but I dig it and DHsaid I look hot in it, LOL! I'll have to take it to TX in December so I fit in ;)

I bet we'll go back next year, and maybe we'll get tickets to a REAL country music concert. I would have loved to have seen Reba McIntyre. I'm crossing my fingers for Carrie Underwood next year!

On the road to the rodeo

I'm taking tomorrow off in anticipation of heading to Cheyenne Frontier Days to see Bon Jovi perform and go to my very first rodeo!!! I'm not much of a cowgirl, but it's always fun to go somewhere new, try something new, and do it all with my best friend and love!

I've been rockin' out to Lost Highway for the past few weeks trying to learn all the words to all the songs so that I can act like my usual backup singer self for Jon and the boys. In all the recent interviews, Jon's been quick to say that it's not a country album, but that it's Nashville inspired. For the most part I think that's probably true, but you can hear a lot of country undertones in most, if not all the songs. Surprising enough, my favorite tune on the album is "We Got it Goin' On" with Big & Rich. It's reminiscent of the old Bon Jovi days...a little harder and heavier with lots of guitar. Otherwise, I love "You Wanna Make a Memory", "Summertime", and "Seat Next To You".

So, I've been wondering since LeeAnn Rimes and Big & Rich are scheduled to perform at CFD, will they make a special appearance with JBJ to sing their duets with him? Hmmm, one can only hope.

I've been debating on taking in my Rebel with my zoom lens. Since we're in the "standing room only" section, we could be close enough that I don't need it, but I could get some really amazing shots with it too. The website says that still cameras are okay, just no video cameras, but I'm still wondering if they'll pitch a fit when they see the size of my lens. And then there's the size and sheer weight of it. It's supposed to be quite warm tomorrow, and am I gonna wanna carry it around on my neck for the evening? (can't take the bag in, cause I'll have my purse, and you can only bring one bag in --- oh, wait, maybe I should just put my camera in my purse, duh!!!)

Concert begins at 8:00, doors open at 7, but the website says come early to get in line if you have "standing room only" tix. Wonder how I can convince DH to stand in line longer than he's going to want to? I think I'll tell him the concert starts at 7:00 then act like I didn't know! Is that bad? ;) So, since the concert begins as the sun will be setting and it will get dark, I must read up on my manual tomorrow to make sure I know how to keep the shutter open long enough for decent pics.

I'm gettin' pretty excited! I've been waiting for this day since March when I found out Bon Jovi was playing CFD! Sure wish my buddy Kris was going with me!!!

My First Photo Session

Knowing that I would have all the women in my family in one place at the same time made me very eager to capture the moment! So, I had my mom tell them all to bring a white top and khaki bottoms and be prepared for a photo shoot. Here are some of my favorites from the session:

Okay, this is a page right of ScrapJammies' book, but I loved it then, and love it now!

The End!

Sister Update

It feels like it’s been a really long two weeks. Each time I blink, I feel like I could close my eyes and sleep for days.

I don’t know that I told you that W broke the news to me over email, and we only communicated via email for over a week. At first, I was a little offended, but in hindsight it was probably best since we were able to keep more emotion out of it. Had I spoken directly to her, I’m sure I would have said something that hurt us both and potentially strained our relationship for a while, if not forever.

I finally spoke to W on the phone on Wednesday night on my way home from an Avalanche hockey event. I had a couple of drinks there, which is probably good, because I think it helped me be more honest with her without getting angry. We talked for about an hour, and there was lots of crying, but God put the words in my mouth that I think He wanted her to hear.

After I hung up with her, she must’ve called my parents to tell them, because I spent an hour on the phone with my mom on Thursday morning. As you can imagine, and just as I suspected, she was very distressed by the whole situation. She said she hadn’t slept all night, and had finally fallen asleep at about 7:15 that morning, only to wake up panicked at 8:00 and late for work, so that just added insult to injury.

Since W broke the news on the phone to my mom, there were a lot of angry words exchanged and they both got defensive and said more to each other than was really necessary. Like I said earlier, I’m relieved, now, that I had a chance to process on my own before I actually spoke to W (AND my mom).

Praise God that I was given an extra week to process my emotions and get amazing advice from you all. I remained very calm, and although I acknowledged and validated my mom’s feelings, I was able to relay all the objective and positive points she needed to hear. Again, God put the words in my mouth! I think she may have felt a little angry that I had known for over a week, and that I wasn’t as deeply upset and commiserating with her at that exact moment, but I think you all know that yes, I’ve been there, and I’ve felt everything Mom was going through. It must’ve hit a chord with her, because she sent W a long email apologizing for some of the things she said, and it helped W let down her guard as well.

So all along, I was planning on picking W up at the airport on Friday. It only makes sense since I live 15 minutes from the airport and I was going up to Loveland for our girls’ weekend anyway. Well, then my mom wanted to go pick her up so that they could have some time alone before my mom saw her in front of everyone else. But she wanted W to make the decision about who she wanted to pick her up, like she’s going to choose me over Mom at that point. So I left work about 12:30 on Friday, called Mom as I was heading home to pick up my stuff and pack my car. I asked her how she was doing today and she says “right now, I don’t think so good, I’m on the other line with Sandi” then “shit, I locked my keys in my car.” Okay, my mom never swears, so I knew she was on the verge of total meltdown. She asked if she could call me back, and of course she could. She calls me back and says Sandi is on her way to pick her up and take her home to get her spare key, but she’s still planning on driving to the airport to pick up W. (It’s an hour drive, mind you, and it’s only an hour until my sister’s plane arrives) I wasn’t going to argue though. She asks if she can call me back, of course she can call me back. So I get home, pack up my car, and I’m ready to get on the road, but I wait for her to call me back. She calls me back and says that she just got her car unlocked and that she thinks she can still make it to the airport on time because W’s plane left a little late. It’s 1:20 and her flight is scheduled to arrive at 1:35, but I’m still not arguing. Then she asks if I think she’s crazy, and I said “yes, Mom, I think you’re crazy…because I’m just like you and I know that if it were me, and I was planning a scrapbooking weekend for six people, and trying to do stuff at the last minute to get ready, AND I needed to be at the airport in 15 minutes, but had an hour drive, I would be freaking out.” And she laughed (thank God) and said I was right and asked what she should do, because she still wanted to see W for the first time away from everyone else and didn’t want W to think she didn’t want to come get her at the airport. So I offered to go get her (since I was already on my way to the airport!) and bring her to Mom’s house first so they could spend a few minutes together before we headed over to my Gram’s for the weekend.

Just as I pulled up alongside the curb, W had just come out the door, and we were on our way. I had to explain the whole story to her of course, since she was bracing for an hour ride home with our mother. We stopped to grab lunch on our way, ran by Walgreen’s to pick up some pictures she had printed from Snapfish (which is a pretty cool service!), and got her home to see Mom for the first time. It was emotional of course, but since Mom had a little time (but not too much time) to process her emotions, it was relatively calm and happy.

We spent the rest of the weekend with my three aunts (Mom’s sister and both brother’s wives), Gram, and the three of us. We scrapbooked all night and all day, watched some chic flicks, had massages, ate great food that Gram made for us, and giggled a lot. I even did a photo shoot of all of us with my new camera and tripod on Sunday before we all headed home.

I went home with them to my parents’ and that’s when we all (including my dad) finally had an open talk about the baby, M, and the plans for the future. Lots of crying, but good conversation, and I think W recognizes that even though we’re all willing to give M a shot and get to know him, that they have a long road ahead of them. She’s in process of trying to break her lease so that they can start looking for something cheaper, but more appropriate for a family (of course, my mom is less than thrilled that she’s planning on moving in with him now, and “two wrongs don’t make a right”). They’re planning on staying in California , which I expected since he has a 4-year old daughter there already and his family is there. I told her that I think they need to find a church that they like and start getting involved, and more importantly find someone to help them with their own faith and their relationship. Most churches make you do that anyway when you’re getting married, but I feel that it’s really important now that they’re bringing a person into this world. W didn’t like the word “counseling”, but that’s really what they need. I saw my dad cry for the first time since 1995 when my grandpa died, and he said how much he missed having us both at home.

We met DH for dinner in Denver , then Mom and Dad took W back to the airport to go home.

W decided that it wasn’t the right time to share her news with the rest of the family, so we’re all still bracing for that.

So all in all, it was a nice weekend. It was good to see her and hug her and let her know I still love her, but it was also a little tough to keep up appearances in front of everyone else. Not to mention that scrapbooking all weekend totally wears you out anyway. We’re not in the clear by any means, since there is a long road ahead of us all, but we’re in a much better spot than we were two weeks ago.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for me, for W, and for our family. I could not have gotten through any of this without you!

Sister Update

I was pretty torn up Tuesday afternoon and night. When I got home from work (how I made it home in one piece without killing myself or someone else on the road is beyond me), I put on my p.j.'s and crawled into bed and just sobbed, heart wrenching, body shaking sobs. Now I'm just getting used to the idea, and you know it doesn't really surprise me. She's always had to do things her own way, even though it's always the hard way. She still hasn't told our parents, and she says she doesn't know but thinks she's due sometime early February.

Lots of emotions running through me about it, but honestly, the deepest and hardest to deal with is the jealousy. I know that sounds horrible, but I can't help but feel like our excitement about having a baby soon just totally got deflated and then stomped all over. My parents, my mom especially, are going to be so upset and disappointed, so I feel like her pregnancy will trump mine no matter what. I hate that I feel that way because I love my sister so much, and her baby didn't ask for any of this. Ugh!

DH convinced me to get out of bed and have dinner with some of our friends. I had three beers at dinner to help me calm down and sleep, but our stupid neighbor was shooting off illegal fireworks until 11:15. And I'm sure he only quit because I finally dragged myself out of bed and peeked my head out the back door to figure out who it was. He must've saw/heard me because he lit the last one then scurried around cleaning stuff up and getting rid of any evidence in case I called the cops (which I was about ready to do). Then I could not for the life of me fall back asleep, so I took my pillow and blanket out to the couch and finally fell asleep, but I must've slept funny because I've had a stiff neck since yesterday morning.

That aside, yesterday was actually a pretty nice day for us. We finished cutting up the tile that we needed to finish the hallway and linen closet, so now we just need to light a fire under our butts and get them set and get the whole thing grouted. It all looks so nice though, even if it isn't finished. Since we have most of the tile set, and the other pieces laying where they go, it really does give you an idea of what it will look like done.

That took us most of the morning, then we cleaned up and headed to our friends, Rob & Jen's house for dinner. We had ribs, potato salad, grilled veggies, watermelon, jello parfait, and Texas toast! It was good! Got home last night and another one of our stupid neighbors must've started a fire or hurt someone with fireworks because there were two firetrucks, an ambulance, a police cruiser, and three volunteer firefighters parked outside our house with all the lights going. We never really did see what happened. I felt bad for Reese since we left her home alone. The fireworks don't seem to bother her, but I can't imagine how freaked she must've been when all those sirens pulled up in front of the house.

Today's been a rough day, just trying to get out of bed this morning to come to work, and it's so quiet around here anyway with almost everyone on vacation. You know how it takes you a few days to recover from a good cry? My eyelids are heavy, and my eyes are so tired today.

Thank you all for listening and being here for me. Your words are comforting and you all said at least one thing that made me think about the situation a little differently than I might have without you. I know our family will get through this and it will make us stronger, it's just hard to take the broken heart right now. I pray that God will make M the man that He wants him to be and in turn will become a source of stability, strength, and comfort for my sister.

I would ask one more favor from all of you...please pray for my parents' broken hearts and disappointment to be healed quickly so that we can move forward and be the love and support that W needs from all of us.

Much love to you all, Jenn

Prayers needed

Ladies, I need some major prayers for our family right now. My sister just told me, I mean literally just now, that she's pregnant via email. I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my head and heart right now, I don't know what to do or say. I'm positive that my parents don't know yet, and she's coming home in a couple of weeks for the weekend, so I'm expecting that it will be a long, unhappy weekend. We all need God's guidance right now.

I don't know what else to say. I'm totally speechless.

My Country 'Tis Of Thee

I just want to wish you all a very happy and safe Independence Day tomorrow. I hope each of you pause to remember the reason for our celebrations, that it's not just about getting a day off of work, it's not about gorging ourselves with BBQ, and it's not about how big and entertaining the fireworks are. Of course, all that seems pretty awesome, but at the same time it seems so shallow. I wish more people in this country truly felt a sense of pride and patriotism and remembered all those men who died to make us a free nation.

May you all enjoy your time with family and friends as we celebrate our freedom! God Bless America!

I'm Alive! Call off the Search & Rescue!

I know I’ve been absent! Seems like I’m not that busy, but then again, I haven’t been able to find time to respond to email messages from y’all, post on the MB, or post to my blog! The summer is already slipping by me without much chance to enjoy it. I look at the calendar and think that I still have 2 ½ months to take advantage of, but I know, just as past summers, it will be gone before I know it and I’ll sit wondering what the heck I did with my time all summer.

I’ve found myself reminiscing of days gone by over the past few weeks. It’s been a month of major personnel changes around here and it’s made me long for the old days. I have forgotten how great it is to work with your friends, who were still your friends outside of work, and you didn’t have to talk (okay, complain) about work because you don’t know what else to say to a person. One of my two close friends at work decided to quit after many months of talking about it, then brushing it off, and realizing she’d deal with the same crap anywhere she goes. I guess she talked about it so often that I got used to hearing it and never really believed she’d act on it. But then again, she’s got a semi-nomadic personality anyway, so I guess I’m not totally shocked. She seems to be a person that doesn’t really settle down anywhere in her life for very long. But it still sucks. She’s been my sidekick for the better part of three years, and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself now that she’s gone. No lunch buddy, no happy hour buddy, no ally in the office.

On the brighter side, my other good friend at work just returned from maternity leave. She’s not in the office, but out on-site, so I don’t get to hang out with her every day, but it will be easier to keep up with her now that she’s back to checking her email regularly (I’m sure you’ve all figured out by now that I’m not much of a phone talker…don’t know where my avoidance issues came from). We had them (and three month old Alexandra!) over for dinner on Saturday night, so it was fun to catch up with them and spend time with them again. I’m sure they’re both glad to get out of the house and be social again, now that they’ve had a chance to get used to being new parents.

With my one friend leaving work, there is a multitude of duties that need to be reassigned, and the powers that be have asked that I take over a portion of them in addition to what I’m doing now. I have been slowing down a lot lately (even though summer is the busiest season for construction), now that my co-workers are becoming more knowledgable and efficient at using our software. Not as many HELP! phone calls during the day as their once was. Several weeks ago in my review, our V.P. and I discussed how my role should be expanded. Since I’ve been doing some training, it makes sense for me to be in charge of rolling out a full-blown training curriculum and program, and managing and maintaining it. They’ve also asked if I’d be interested in getting involved in some of our recruiting processes, mainly with Colorado State since I’m an alum, and doing interviews, career fairs, and networking. They also think I’d flourish in doing some Human Resources types of duties since that dovetails into the recruiting. They gave me a raise for the second half of the year, so I guess that means I’m doing a pretty good job at this training thing, even though I had no idea how/what to do when I accepted the position. So, it sounds like I’ll be getting busier again, and most likely will become indispensable to the company if I take on these roles and responsibilities. In a way, it’s very flattering and encouraging, but at the same time, I’m a little hesitant and disappointed. I had hoped to become a SAHM when we have kids, but it sounds like it’s not in the cards anymore. With as well as they pay me, and the regular pay increases I get, I feel like they’re buying me for long term. Again, good and bad. It will support my spending habits and make living our lifestyle easier, but I don’t want to miss out on spending as much time as possible with my children and making them my career. Who knows…there’s a lot of time between now and then, and God knows what’s best for me and our future children. Just have to remember to trust Him!

Our trip to the Mediterranean is just around the corner! I can’t believe that it’s just over two months before we leave! Just paid off the balance this week, so it’s finally really going to happen. We decided to extend our trip and stay a night in Venice on the back end of the cruise since we’ll likely never get to return. We’re staying in a hotel right on the Grand Canal and I’m just praying that we’ll get a room with a view of the water! I’ve been doing a ton of research on Venice the past week to figure out what we should see, where we should eat, how to dress, and how to act so that we don’t totally stick out like American tourists! It’s amazing how much more conservative it is in Europe than it is here. We’re planning on visiting St. Mark’s Square and Basilica, and all the travel guides are very specific that bare shoulders and knees are not tolerated; you’ll be denied entry and asked to leave. On top of that, Italians are more fashion-conscious than most of the world, and they said you’ll have a giant bullseye on if you’re wearing shorts and tennis shoes while sightseeing. They recommended “smart” clothing, and that Italian women wear skirts almost all of the time. So know I’ve got to go through my closet to find a skirt that a) fits, b) is "smart", and c) covers my knees, then I have to find a top that a) fits, b) matches the skirt, and c) covers my shoulders. Good grief! I thought traveling was supposed to be relaxing and stress-free! LOL! I am so looking forward to this trip, and I’m dying to taste the wine in each region, especially in Venice! Kinda crossing my fingers that I’m not expecting before then!

Scanned in all my LO’s for my JBJ album last night. I ended up doing a 9x9 so I’m still having to stitch all my pages together with the scanner since it’s only 8 ½” wide. After stitching some together, I got a few that look really bowed or curled and I don’t know what that’s about, so I’m going to have to spend some more time on it, and maybe even use a different program to stitch, like Photoshop Elements. I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out, and I love that I got a lot of journaling into the album that chronicles my life-long obsession. Won’t my great-great-great-grandchildren laugh at me?!

June Jubilee

You nurses out there should especially enjoy this post. Our company holds a mini-health fair each year through our health insurance, Blue Cross Blue Shield Kansas City. They send out some nice ladies from Kansas City, let them weigh us, prick our fingers, and help us fill out a health risk appraisal. Last year, we received a $25 Visa gift card + $10 per month off of our insurance premiums. Not a bad deal. Last year was the first year, so I didn't have much to compare my results to. I was average, with my blood pressure, total cholesterol, and HDL levels hovering in the normal range. Like I said, I had nothing to compare myself to, so I had no idea I could do better.

On Friday, those sweet little nurses came back, weighed me, pricked my finger, and actually gave me some inspiring and motivational news! All my results are compared to results from July 2006. My weight is down 5 lbs (it's actually down 5 lbs from the beginning of May too!) and my cholesterol is down 23 points! All the while, I virtually maintained my HDL level, which the nurse said is difficult to do. I'd say I've really only slightly modified some of my lifestyle habits, so the results are overwhelming to me. I keep seeing myself in one of those commercials with a sign strapped to the front of me with my cholesterol score in bright green. Oh, and we got a $30 Dick's Sporting Goods gift certificate + $10 per month off our insurance premiums.

To top it off, I had a guy I work with, but don't see often (he's in our Colorado Springs office) seek me out after a meeting on Friday to tell me that I'm looking "fit". Bless his heart, what guy do any of you know that would actually have the nerve to say something about your weight and use such a nice term? It really made my day on Friday, and I think I'm going to send him a thank you note to tell him how much his comment meant to me.

It's hard being this girl; the girl who struggles with her weight. I've always been the skinny girl, and I guess I don't feel any different inside, so it's hard to swallow that I need to change my lifestyle to get back to being the skinny girl. I don't know if I'll ever get there, but I feel like I'm more on my way now than I have been in the past few years. Yeah, I'd love to be a size 8 again, but really, who am I kidding. It would require too much work and sacrifice to get there, and honestly I'm happy with my life as it is. I recognize the couple of things I need to pay attention to, and slowly it's becoming habit, rather than trying to remember to do them.

I've grown to love and appreciate cooking and fine cuisine over the six years we've been married, and it seems such a waste to go through every day, almost every meal, eating something bland just to fit into a pair of jeans that don't hug my thighs. On the other hand, I see so many girls out there that look great, and it makes me long to be that girl again. I'll have to find a happy medium.

So I Think I Can Quit?

With the conclusion of American Idol last week, I had sworn off T.V. for the summer. We watch way too much television, and I’m trying hard to wean myself from shows that I can do without. Exceptions to the rule: The Office, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and American Idol. I figured a summer without television would give me the free time I need to do other things like going to the gym, getting some scrapbooking done, reading the stack of magazines piled up, and enjoying being outdoors during the warm weather. Sounds good, right?

Well, here I am a week later. Haven’t been to the gym yet. No layouts done on my desk. Magazines still collecting dust. And it’s been raining every afternoon this past week. To top it all off, So You Think You Can Dance has been showing their auditions. I told Jeremy last week that I would absolutely *NOT* get caught up in it this year. But I watched last night, and now of course I’m partial to a few people and want to see if they make it to the competition.

Argh, I feel I’m pulling myself in two different directions. I really, really, *REALLY* don’t want to get caught up in any T.V. this summer. Right now, I feel like I can do it. Cut myself off now before it’s too late. But I know that temptation will pull at me tonight.

How Wicked!

We went to see Wicked yesterday for our anniversary. It was a fun musical, and such an interesting take on the witches of Oz!
I purchased our tickets over a year ago when I found out that Wicked would be returning to Denver. We missed out on the first tour because we waited too long to buy tickets, not knowing what the musical was about or if it was even good. Our tickets were for the afternoon matinee. They were of course cheaper than going to a Saturday evening show. At first, I was disappointed with myself for buying the matinee, but in the end I was very pleased.

Jeremy had to help a friend strip and reseal his concrete patio in the morning. Don’t ask me why he promised he’d do it on our anniversary. I got to do some scrapbooking in the morning, so all in all, it wasn’t a bad deal. I was bound and determined not to let it ruin the day, as long as Jeremy was home in time to take a shower and get ready so we could be there about an hour ahead of showtime. He was actually home about 15 minutes before I expected him, wow!

I’ve been wearing my hair au natural recently taking advantage of the wave (and the short amount of time it takes to do it!). Jeremy made it clear that he wanted me to wear my hair like that, so who was I to argue? I wore a cute cotton skirt and tank that I had gotten at Sears just for the day, and wore my denim jacket over top. It was a bit warm, but when the jacket is part of the fashion, you suck it up just to look cute.

Our tickets were pretty decent. Exactly center stage and a few rows from the back in the orchestra level. We didn’t even think to take binoculars, and I can’t justify the cost to rent them at the theater. We didn’t really need them though.

The first act was spectacular! Galinda (as she calls herself in the first act) was very funny, and the whole act was very light-hearted. The songs were sing-songy (is that a word?), and I loved “Popular”. The second act wasn’t as good, a little darker, but all in all it was a fantastic story line. It lined up very well with the movie, with characters like the Wicked Witch of the East, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow making appearances. It really downplayed Dorothy’s involvement in the whole story, but did have a bit about the ruby red slippers on her feet. The actress who played Elpheba, the Wicked Witch of the West, nailed the cameo cackle, and the audience loved it!

After the show, we walked up and down the 16th Street Mall deciding where to eat dinner. After 30 minutes, 16 blocks (round-trip), we decided to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. It was prom night in the city, so the wait was crazy, and there were groups of teenagers taking up tables all over the place. We waited at the bar, and ordered chips and guacamole, but before they could even serve us, our table was ready. By good fortune, we got to sit out on the patio on a warm spring evening. The guacamole was delivered and we could have just eaten that, but you can’t go to the Cheesecake Factory and not eat one of their delicious entrees. I had a chicken dish with mozzarella, mushrooms, and mashed potatoes, and Jeremy had a steak dish with mashed potatoes. (We also got a piece of cheesecake to go!)

We sat on the patio enjoying each other’s company and giggling at each other, while watching the prom dresses and tuxes come and go as we reminisced about our own prom and high school experiences.
We went home and popped in “The Holiday” in the DVD player and enjoyed our cheesecake curled up on the couch together. It was a perfect day!!!

I'm It

Lisa has tagged me, so here goes nothin':

The rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

1. I can't stand wet socks. Even if I step in just a little bit of something, I have to tear the socks off my feet and get new ones.

2. I hate doing the dishes. We eat off of paper plates with plastic silver, and use plastic cups to keep the kitchen from getting out of hand.

3. I'm a big fan of Cheetos. Recently, I've been devouring the new Natural white cheese Cheetos puffs.

4. I lied about my age in order to pierce my ears a second time without parental consent. My mom found out about four weeks later when I finally wore my hair back for my junior prom. Not a pretty scene (although my date's hair was the same color as my royal blue dress).

5. I first saw Bon Jovi at Red Rocks Amphitheater the summer after I graduated from high school.

6. My first concert ever was New Kids on the Block when I was in 7th grade.

7. I'm fascinated by detail architecture. Most people take pictures of people standing in front of stuff; I take pictures of details of a building.

Okay, I tag Celia, Dana, Jaime, Jana, Kimberly, Meredith, and Sandy. Dang it, some of you have already been tagged!

My American Idol...

...is Jon Bon Jovi, duh! The show was twice as awesome this week. You combine my obsession with AI and my obsession with JBJ and I'm in heaven!

I was convinced I would hate them all. It's so difficult to be such a giant fan and hear someone else sing his songs. But I was surprisingly pleased with most of them.

Phil was AWESOME! Now that we've learned that his genre is country, he picked the perfect song, and threw in a little twang every now and again. And he was the only one who truly new all the words to the song before he stepped foot into rehearsal. Loved his jacket!

Jordin was absolutely MISERABLE. [<----pukey green color] The look was totally wrong for her, and she spent more time trying to nail the rocker act than actually nail the song. I got a headache just watching her try to head bang to the beat. The key and tone were sooooo bad. I agree she has amazing talent, but based on her performance last night, she should be sent home.

Blake. I have to say I was most dreading his performance. Not because I don't like him (he's my fave), but again, you go messing with a song that is such a key to this band's success, and it could get ugly. But he totally *NAILED IT* and brought it out of the '80's and into a new millenium. I think JBJ was so concerned because when the band released their acoustic album "This Left Feels Right", it bombed because the band messed with songs we all loved. WTG Blake! Not sure I like the dark hair tho.

LaKisha was actually pretty decent. I thought there was no way she could pull it off, but I didn't hate it. Now, her shirt? Hated it!

Chris, IMHO, was just as bad as Jordin. Especially since Chris Daughtry performed that song last season and rocked it. Chris' voice didn't suit the song at all and he was totally unbelievable. JBJ told them that every song is a story and you have to tell the story to draw us in. Chris didn't get it done...who's going to believe that he travels around on a motorcycle, drinking booze in a different bar every day with a Justin Timerlake girly voice? Go home already!

Melinda was amazing as always. I actually was pleased she chose a more recent song. Chris and Jordin should have thought of that. Even though she's not a rocker, she nailed the rock act without looking strange and over the top like Jordin. She's not my choice to win it, but she's a tough act to beat. And Simon said he's not familiar with the song? What the h? Has he been under a rock for the past two years? He's in the music business for crying out loud!

But the results show only appeased 1/2 of me. I've been waiting for Chris to go home, but poor Phil! He was just starting to get comfortable in his own skin out there and he's rocked the past three weeks. Plus, he's just a dang nice guy...so humble and so gracious. I loved that he kissed his wife during his performance last night, and how appropriate that his finale song was "Blaze of Glory"? I'm so over Jordin and LaKisha, and with Jordin's performance this week, it should have been her. Anbody else think she looks like a younger Kimberly Locke?

I'm rooting for Blake all the way! He's so original and different. Who wouldn't love the way he simulated putting a record on a turntable? We don't need another winner that sounds just like Fantasia Barrino.

In other news, I couldn't take it anymore, so I finally ripped the carpet and pad out of the hallway! I was so sick of how nasty the carpet was being the first place we walked through having come from the garage and it being the most walked on surface in our house between the bedroom and the rest of the house. It was filthy and disgusting! So we're down to bare concrete for another week or so until our tile comes in at the H-Depot. Mom and Dad are planning on coming down for the weekend to help us put it in. What a great Mom's Day gift, huh?

I weighed myself yesterday morning and I'm up 6 freakin' pounds since the beginning of the year. I was so despondent yesterday. That coupled with the fact I woke up on the wrong side of the bed anyway made yesterday pretty much suck. I was over-tired, had a splitting headache, and felt sick to my stomach most of the morning. The nice thing was I got to go home early from work, since my afternoon site visit ended early, and got in a good, hard workout at the gym. Worked out my frustration and anger a little bit, but by the time I got home, I was really super tired.

I've been tanning at the gym too. Not overboard, but I've got to do something so that I don't burn as easily this summer. Especially when we go to Greece in September. I've been doing short stints, taking lots of precautions with lotions and eye goggles. I can tell it's working because I'm starting to see a little color on my legs and arms, and Jer swears my face is looking darker. It's probably just more freckles!

We are utterly disappointed in the Nuggets again this year, giving us so much hope with a strong win over the Spurs in Game 1 and dropping the next four just like they have the past three years. You could literally see the exact moment they gave up last night. *Sigh* We'll have to take advantage of baseball season now until football starts in the fall . The Rockies haven't given us anything to cheer for since 1995, and I gave up defending them several years ago.

Sorry for the long post, I guess I feel like I need to make up for being absent the past four weeks.